hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
