Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
