you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize