I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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