sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
