Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
