You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
