Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's blow job season.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
