Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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