I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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