Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
