Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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