mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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