O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
