Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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