she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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