So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
birth control should be required to get into college
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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