it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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