it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
