does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
