I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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