I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There r osticjed everywhere
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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