Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
