I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
