I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
