i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
