I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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