I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
