508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
