Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
