You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
