I queefed so loud it echoed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
