i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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