I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
