Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
