my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
