Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
