if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
