Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
