I wish I only lived at night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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