with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
