i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
