doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
