Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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