Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i think i have two assholes
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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