Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
