I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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