we have pet lesbian snakes
My room smells like vodka and shame
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
