and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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