Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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