Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
